The Breadfruit Tree Lime

I know this is a subject most bajans don't like to talk about, but while watching the Rihanna interview the other night, I was surprised to hear her talk about domestic abuse in her home while growing up in Barbados. according to her, she used to watch her parents fight all the time, and would sometimes hold on to her father's leg and try to get between them to stop the physical abuse endured by her mother. and because of that, she used to say she would never date a man like her father.

Well I was somewhat taken back with her airing her parents dirty laundry on national television for the whole world to judge, but then I got to thinking about bajan men, and remembered on a number of occasions while growing up I did witness men in my neighbourhood who would beat up their women for foolishness like.......the food not ready and on the table when they got home from work, or sometimes just for plain jealousy or spite and this was like the neighbourhood matinee, with the neighbours gathering in small groups afterwards having their little discussions about what happened, and what so and so should do.

Then when i became older, i also witnessed a few people i know get the shit beaten out of them as well, especially like at parties for dancing with other people, wearing something the boyfriend did not like, or for just plain ole foolishness. seems the average bajan man was always quick to use his fists back then, and makes me wonder if domestic violence is still rampant down there.

Have any of you ever witnessed or experienced domestic abuse and care to speak about it? any of you ever got beaten up by your boyfriends or husbands? any of you men ever got beaten up by your women?

Well, i never experience any abuse myself but been around it as a child. My mom use to beat up my dad. He was a very peaceful man and she was hot tempered and if things didn't go her way she just pick fights with him. At times, she would throw his clothes outside and burn them, throw his radio and other equipment outside and break them up. She was something!!!

My neighbor in Bdos would always beat up his girlfriend as we were wating for the bus for school every morning. He beat her up while she was pregnant and she jumped throw a window trying to get away, however, she did nto lose the baby

I didn't actually witness any growing up but given the stories I heard, I have no doubt that it was pretty common.

Wait, wunna marrid people doan know yuh have to beat de woman to have good sex Cha

Poor Rihanna - um is all daddy's fault. Yeah, right - if yuh lay down wid dogs yuh bound to ketch uh few fleas. Schuuuuuuuuuuuuuupse

I have not been a victim of domestic abuse as an adult, but I grew up with it. My father was very very abusive to my mother. He was also very abusive to my eldest sister, he used to beat her just because he was the boss and felt like it. he sent her to school with her face swollen to prove his point. It was common where we lived, I grew up in the 'housing area'. Domestic abuse is no laughin matter, t is time the laws in barbados were tougher on people who do it, both men and women. I know women who would go to the police station to complain and were tod 'if yuh did had de man food ready, he din ghun beat yuh". Even that song that Madd sung about Days of our Lives made mock sport of domestic abuse. It is more commong than Bajans want to admit.

Sofa i agree with you on the laws in Bdos being tougher on domestic violence, its true the police down there tend to take these issues lightly, and the thing is people do not speak out against it.

I also grew up in the 'housing area' and I remember one sunday night just before i came to canada which was nuff years ago, there was this lady who used to live opposite us with her boyfriend. apparently he suspected she was having an affair and caught her that night with the man down the road at a friend's house, and he dragged her all the way home and then beat the shit outta her right in front my mother's house.

i was inside watching tv and all of a sudden i heard this yelling and screaming and the poor woman ran to our side door knocking and and calling out my name asking me to let her in. i felt so bad for her and went to open the door and hide her, but my mother would not let me. she would'nt even let me call the police. in the meantime all the neighbours were outside watching the fight and en doing nothing to help.

then the man ran to our door and picked her up like if she was a bag of rice, carried her back to the road and dropped her on her back and kicked and stomped her so many times, all the time she was crying and screaming, and poor me could'nt do a thing to help her. at one point she caught a break and ran into her house, then the guy came and asked me to turn on our outside light so he can look for something he lost.

stupid me thought that maybe his watch had dropped off or something, so i turned on the light, only to hear him say he was looking for his gun that dropped during the fight, and if and when he find it he was going to shoot her. i was so blasted scared that i turned off the light and left him out there in darkness. dont know if he found the gun or not, but at least i din hear no gunshots later that night. of course my mother quarreled with me afterward for wanting to let in the woman to hide and for turning on her front light. that same lady never spoke to me or any of the neighbours again. but a few weeks later, she walked into the US embassy got a vacation visa, bought a ticket and left the island one day when the man was at work. when he came home the evening both she and her son was gone and the house was empty. from what i hear she has never been back to bdos.

right above where my mother's house was located used to be very dark at night and had a few tamarind trees, so nuff people used to come up there to make out and get screw, so sometimes at night i used to hear nuff nuff licks sharing while i was lying in my bed, especially pon a saturday nite when de young people coming home from dey dances. i guess wunna can say i lived close to a lovers lane. but that was the worse case of violence i have ever seen on a woman and as a young girl back then now starting to date, that certainly woke me up.

See whuh uh tell yuh, Margaret, whuh both de examples you cite dey got to do with sex and de implied issues of dominance/submission. Um aint only Bajans dat beating up duh women - it happening all over de world. Yuh check dem Muslim nations? And, of course, keep in mind all de violence and abuse doan be always physical - most of it is mental. Some people dat tink duh happily marrid because dem doan get beatup gine through hell every day yuh hear. Btw, I did know Gerwood Yearwood dat either get hang or dead in prison fuh chopping up and killing he wife back in de early '70s. He did from Road View yuh know. He used to pelt some licks like peas in dat woman at de drop of uh hat and guh church wid she too.

The script worked - Rihanna Interview: Women React on Dating and Domestic Violence - ABC News - http://shar.es/aaPMp

well i cahn see nutten pon dat link.....but i was just watching 20/20 and de first thing they start off wid was de rihanna interview last week, then they dropped a lil piece uh some new video she just launched and went into a teen abusive relationship that went really bad yada yada yada.

chris brown making the rounds as well cause he was pon de wendy williams show today. i missed it but will watch it at midnight just to hear wuh he pushing now.

so yes Barkee, de publicity working for both of them.

Try this link - http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Entertainment/rihanna-interview-women-react-dating-domestic-violence/story?id=9031571

Mags, you does watch Wendy;s show also? i does watch it every night...uh mean morning. She is a trip!

girl i love wendy williams...........her tv show comes on fox at 6pm but if i miss it i does have to catch it on BET at midnight because they bumped her from the 11 o'clock time slot and put in that loud mouth Mo'nique show.

doan get me wrong, i love Mo'nique but only for comedy, not a tv show....i find her to be too loud and brawlinggggg on this new show as de bajans would say.

but wait.....juls i surprise you does watch dem kinda tings i picture you tuh be sitting wid you husband watching nutten but news and documentaries.

Girl, when is my girl also so Monique but she needs to tone it down. I does watch Monique at 11 and then Wendy at midnight. Yes, i does watch those plus housewives of Atlanta. I does need something that's brainless when de night come to mellow me out after a long day of keeping on top of things with Al and Noah....don't you knwo i got 2 babies.

juls, wuh you surprising me more and more each day.....wuh i surprise you does watch de housewives of atlanta.......girl whenever i watch dat show i does think of you nuh lie

but you right, yuh need dem brainless shows to relax yuh fuh trute cause dey does give yuh a good laff.

Girl...yes, i am not as fuddy duddy as you might think. Yes, I love that show...dem women does crack me up. I love NeNe. After, i put Al to sleep with some loving...i does easy out the bedroom and watch my shows.LOLOLOLOL